Homes Everywhere

I was emailing with a reporter about a month ago (no, the article is a secret until it comes out!) and she was asking about my name, since I had made a fuss about her getting it right. Here is what I say:

“My name is Jessica, J-E-S-S-I-C-A, Dickinson, D-I-C-K-I-N-S-O-N, space-not-a-hyphen-just-a-space, G-O-O-D-M-A-N. That’s Dickinson as in Emily, not Charles; yes D-I-C-K-I-N-S-O-N. Goodman as in John Goodman–ok, you’ve got it”

Jessica Dickinson Goodman. I had mentioned our cover article in the Willow Glen Weekly to her, and she was where I got Dickinson, but was not sure about the Goodman. I explained that Goodman is my father’s last name, and I spend about half of my time at home with him and half in Willow Glen and

“I sort of live in Palo Alto, Willow Glen, Pittsburgh and now Washington DC. Talk about a blended life.”

Moving between houses on a schedule for most of my life makes this kind of network of homes comfortable. I have a home in Palo Alto, a home in Willow Glen, a home in Pittsburgh, and a home in Williamsburg, VA (or, at least, a couch on which I can sleep). This is all possible because I know that my home is both wherever I am, and where my family and close friends are. This means that I am both never home (because my family and close friends are never in the same place) and always home (because their presences follow me wherever I live).

I almost always feel like I am home.

Inspirational Quote:

(34) The American public owns the airwaves over which programs are broadcast. The finite nature of capital and the structural limitations to access to broadcasting mandate a public interest in what is broadcast. Programming will always be limited, and because it makes use of public assets like the airwaves, the public has a reasonable vested interest in what is broadcast.”–Judith L. Tabron

Nameable Achievements

When people ask me where I grew up, I usually say “California”, or maybe “the Bay Area”. A more accurate answer would be: Peninsula School. I still don’t have a good way to describe what it means to be a Peninsula kid, and I have been trying for nearly 10 years. Maybe this poem will work better.

Peninsula

It has something to do with the feel
of oak leaves beneath my bare feet
and a rough rope-swing sliding
between my palms until–
catch, jump, swing.

An open door to an empty classroom.
The smell of freshly unwound
string on a loom.
The cool shade of a giant
oak tree.

A quiet library, Misha
(or, Conan the Librarian)
introducing my first loves:
Alanna, White Fang, Island
of the the Blue Dolphins

In my band, singing louder
than pretty. Learning instruments;
rocking to “Johnny B. Good”,
“Secret Agent-Man” and
“Wild Thing”

Dirt in scabbed knees. Proud
of not crying after getting knocked over
playing rough.
Calluses on my hands from monkey-bars
and climbing trees.

“If you can’t climb the tree alone,
you don’t get to climb it.”

–

Most of what I learned at Peninsula are not nameable achievements and do not fit into my resume. But you can see its effects through my life. The focus on social justice, the small groups of close friends, the obsession with fairness and distaste for purposeless hierarchy. Also the attachment to libraries, the haphazard dress style, the confusion about political leanings. The need for music.

People ask me what my common thread is, what holds my interests together.

My common thread is Peninsula.

Inspirational Quote:

Tell the readers a story! Because without a story, you are merely using words to prove you can string them together in logical sentences.
Anne McCaffrey

3 Career Goals

ok, so I am susceptible to passing memes. The meme in question is Penelope Trunk’s blog. I’ve been reading it all weekend, and it is quite cool. In reading her blog, I’ve decided I have 3 new career goals:

1. Read and Comment on other people’s blogs. Currently my voice on the internet is exactly what I want it to be (because I work hard to make sure this is so), but it is hard to connect me to any given community. I don’t post on many other blogs, and so basically my blog network is my Mom (who is a wonderful network). This is more broadly: network.
2. Get work experience. I am feeling a little desperate today (not yet having an internship to match my prestigious fellowship is no good), but I think overall my resume needs some jobs where I work effectively within a large organization where I am valued but I also have to take orders. I really don’t want to do this. But I will.
3. Be open. I decided for the next week I am not thinking about law school, and when someone asks me what I will do with a degree in the humanities I will say: I don’t know, something fun. It is super important to focus (especially for someone as broadly-based as me) but I can’t become myopic in pursuit of my goals.

ok, now time to finish my paper.

Inspirational Quote:

Groucho Marx – “A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.”

Writer’s Block

I’ve been feeling a little stuck lately, blogging-wise. I’ve always had cycles (high intensity, good writing and low motivation, medium writing), but lately I’ve felt more constricted than usual. It might be that important things going on in my life are private, it might be that I am trying to create a portfolio of similar-subjected posts and so am reluctant to blog outside of that portfolio, but I think it is this: I am afraid that someone, someday, will use something I say here to prove I am stupid, hypocritical, or biased. I am afraid that during my Congressional hearings for confirmation to the Supreme Court of the United States of America, the Senator Helms-clone at the time will ask me about my abortion stance, my attachment to the Slog, my advocacy of a view I no longer hold–something I wrote here when I was 20, young, free, and less-educated than I will be at that time.

I am also afraid to criticize, to use FeelingElephants not just to support programs I have enjoyed, but also to point out their faults. Or to respond to the recent rash of ugly comments on FeelingElephants, for fear of inciting a flame-war. Because I believe in praising publicly and criticizing privately, and I am afraid if I criticize publicly, someone, someday, will think Ill of me for doing so.

Simply, I’ve been intimidated into silence by my conception of my future.

And I know this is silly, that, by the time I am seeking confirmation to the Supreme Court everyone will have embarrassing quotes and pictures on the internet and that I am assuming a much higher prominence of my views than is likely. But still, the fears persist.

So, I will blog about them. Just to be counter-intuitive, when I blog about something controversial, I feel good. It is in the planning stages that I get stuck–when my second thoughts censor my first sight (Tiffany rocks, btw).

So. FeelingElephants is back.

(I hope).

Inspirational Quote:

“Ezekiel told me that the rivalry among himself, Rahm, and their third brother, Ariel, a Hollywood agent who is the basis for the Ari Gold character on HBO’s “Entourage,” was so intense that they had to pursue careers in different cities. “We couldn’t possibly be within a thousand miles of each other, because the force fields just wouldn’t let it happen,” Ezekiel said. Rahm is now his boss; he works at the White House as an adviser to the budget director on health policy.”–http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2009/03/02/090302fa_fact_lizza?currentPage=4

Happy Valentine’s Day!

I hope everyone’s having a great Valentine’s day! If you’re with someone, and near them, give them a hug! If you with someone, and far from them, call them! If you’re not with someone, help the world reduce the over-produced number of chocolates!

Inspirational Quote:

“Be what you wish to seem.”–David Mamet on acting, 1985 (this was in an assigned reading for a class. I am not completely random.)

Watch the Ball Drop Live Online

Here is a website with quite a few options for watching the ball drop live in New York City. This year’s entertainment will include Taylor Swift, Jonas Brothers, ane more! Enjoy!

Inspirational Quote:

“Just because something is easy to measure doesn’t mean it’s important.”
Seth Godin

feelingelephants on a break

Hey all,

My next week and a half is going to be epically busy. Tomorrow I have a concert (tune in at 12pm EST) and my show opening at the Posner Center. Saturday I have madrigal dinner from 12-3, and then 6-10. And three finals and a paper to work on. Sunday I study and write. Monday I have my 15100 exam at 8:30am. Tuesday I have a meeting with my research supervisor for next semester and my final for English Diction and a meeting with my professor over the paper. Wednesday I am testing a student for his yellow belt. Thursday I have my vocal performance minor studio juries. Friday I work on the paper and study for my world history final on Tuesday.

And I want to get the rest of the p4 videos and podcasts up.

So, to help keep myself focused, I will not be blogging (or reading the New York Times) until after my finals. I will be back soon!

How to Approach Internships

I had an idea I wanted to share. In my next summer internship/job, I will treat it like a poem. Because most internships at my level of experience are likely to involve seemingly mindless office work, I will treat the work as a small piece of something important. For example. I might work on this question: “how do I teach myself to maintain interest (and therefore accuracy) on the 40th Eagle Scout letter of the day?”

To me, this is like treating an internship like a poem because a poem is a small circumstance which can be extrapolated from to mean more. By reading into the work you are given as an intern, you will gain more out of it. Yes, typing labels for closed cases was important. But what made it interesting was learning how an efficient office ran, what kinds of cases got closed after what actions–even the varied and complex names of constituents were interesting.

So next time you’re bored at work, treat it like a poem.

Inspirational Quote

David Sarnoff – “Nobody can be successful unless he loves his work.”

Little Dead Girls is back!

Coming back to the world of online comics is our ever sarcastic, caustic and true friend, Sinead, author of Little Dead Girls. I like today’s comic–who hasn’t been there?

Little Dead Girls on lost files.

Enjoy!

Inspirational Quote:

“In case of flood, proceed uphill. In case of flash flood, proceed uphill quickly.” — One of the emergency safety procedures at a summer camp.

A Hands-On Art History lesson

I have been working at my grandma’s house since mid-May (with a break for Saltnote Stageworks). She has been a selling artist since the early 50s and yesterday I got to label a cross section of her work. The archaeological implications of the phrase “cross section” is apt–like most storage areas, her art storage space has been filled and refilled for over 30 years.

As I was labeling the art (by grouping, name/description, date) I flipped through her earliest work all the way though her contour drawings from the early 70s (and she is still drawing actively today!). Now, I have had some training in Art History–mostly in my Images of Modernity class last semester where we covered Impressionism and Post-Impressionism–but there is no comparison between that class and my current experiences.

I watched her art transform from unformed preteen portraits, to experiments in abstract expressionism, finally coalescing into her sparse and emotionally powerful contour drawings (the section I am organizing does not go past 1973). I had never seen (much less touched) so much art. The feel of oil paints as they brushed my hand told me more about the attraction of impressionism than chapters and chapters of essays in class. I could see from less than a foot away (sitting at the base of pictures sometimes 5 feet tall, sometimes 12 inches), how different expressionism was from her other art. Many times I would stare at a picture for nearly a minute before my eyes adjusted enough to describe the figures I knew were there. The magic of exploring art from close up is something I did not expect in this job and which I could not have gotten any other way. Even her contours had something of the puzzle image about them–many are so sparse the eye must search to find forms among the lines.

Thank you Baba for this new education!

Inspirational Quote:

An optimist stays up to see the New Year in. A pessimist waits to make sure the old one leaves.
- Bill Vaughan